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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24242770">Saudade</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/infptwriter/pseuds/infptwriter'>infptwriter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Not Beta Read</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:21:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,657</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24242770</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/infptwriter/pseuds/infptwriter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Iwaizumi and Oikawa are equals. Oikawa always told him that.<br/>But as he only stares at the back of Oikawa lately, he realizes it was foolish to think so. For his best friend’s happiness, however, he’ll gladly continue like this.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>57</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Saudade</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello! Oh my, I went from BokuAka angst to IwaOi angst! Yay!<br/>IwaOi is always a must angst for me so &lt;3 sorry &lt;3<br/>Excuse me any mistakes, this wasn't beta read.<br/>Ah, spoilers ahead for the manga! </p>
<p>Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had to be fate.</p>
<p>Iwaizumi meeting Oikawa was something probably written on the starts. It was something the universe put up so well done and created such a great scenario, just so the two of them could meet when they were kids. It had to happen. Oikawa and Iwaizumi had to get stuck together afterwards, becoming good friends, <em>best friends</em>, as the years passed by.</p>
<p>Side by side, they developed an amazing and unique friendship. Perhaps to an outsider it would seem like Iwaizumi had Oikawa wrapped around his little finger, but the truth is that it was, and it still is quite the opposite. Oikawa was whiny, a crybaby and Iwaizumi had a sore spot for him. Though he seemed a bit rude to Oikawa and ‘bullied’ the other boy quite often, it was how Oikawa knew Iwaizumi cared for him.</p>
<p>“It’s what you get for trying to climb that tree by yourself, Crappykawa!” meant <em>Why didn’t you ask for my help? You know I’d do anything for you.</em></p>
<p>“Don’t cry, Shittykawa, it was nothing,” meant <em>Don’t cry anymore, please, it’s okay, I’m here</em>.</p>
<p>“Shut up, idiot, or I’m going to kick your ass!” meant <em>I care for you, don’t make this harder than already is, please.</em></p>
<p>Of course, Oikawa learned how to read between the lines, even though the translation wasn’t quite clear to him. He knew Iwaizumi best, and he was quite proud of himself for it, but there was so much he could know without Iwaizumi actually telling him. Though Oikawa was more open about his feelings, Iwaizumi had always been a closed and locked door, one Oikawa had always wanted to desperately open and understand.</p>
<p>But he respected Iwaizumi, the same way Iwaizumi respected him.</p>
<p>Through middle school, they went together to study on the same place. Volleyball became their passion, and Iwaizumi watched Oikawa train sometimes and wonder, what has volleyball ever done to become so special to Oikawa? Special enough the boy would break, bend, cry and shout over the sport?</p>
<p>It was in the end of middle school he understood why he wondered that.</p>
<p>Oikawa, of course, was an amazing setter and had been recognized for doing so. Iwaizumi had always spiked his tosses with a sense of pride, knowing he knew Oikawa better than anyone else. Better than any of those girls who came and wanted to date Oikawa – mostly because he was popular –, his best friend saying yes until breaking up days later. Heartbreaker, they named him, and a player, because of the number of girls who confessed but never really stayed with Oikawa more than a week.</p>
<p>Iwaizumi realized why he was jealous over volleyball, then.</p>
<p>Because he was in love with Oikawa.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Childhood best friends fall in love with each other. They end up confessing, living a beautiful life together, strong because of their friendship and mutual love. It’s cliché, it’s something Iwaizumi had seen on movies and books. It’s not reality.</p>
<p>Reality is watching Oikawa, in the beginning of their high school years, become so popular in mere weeks. Girls and girls falling for him, making him gain the nickname of <em>player </em>and <em>heartbreaker</em> at Aoba Johsai as well. Reality is struggling to earn a new spot in their new team, learning how to balance his new routine and how he had come to the facts that he’s in love with Oikawa. No big deal. Just another detail. Move on, he tells himself, just keep moving on.</p>
<p><em>We’re equals</em>, Oikawa told him once, back when they were still in middle school.</p>
<p><em>I train hard, but you’re there training with me. All the things I am trying to achieve, you’re running by my side, trying with me. We’re equals, Iwa-chan. Don’t ever forget that</em>.</p>
<p>Oikawa has his own confidence now. He can speak up and talk to others with a certainty to his tone, without a hint of fear or feeling inferior. He knows he belongs here, that he has the space to grow and he knows he’s a good player. He has trained hard enough to know he <em>can</em> stand on the court, that he <em>deserves</em> to do so.</p>
<p>Iwaizumi sometimes missing having to remind him that he’s amazing. This Oikawa doesn’t need Iwaizumi doing this for him anymore, doesn’t need him pestering Oikawa with angry speeches and weird one-sided fights that made Oikawa think and <em>grow</em>.</p>
<p>Oikawa is all grown now, Iwaizumi decides, but he is proud. Bitterness is something he learned how to deal with every time he sees Oikawa with a girl, but it’s weird to feel it in his mouth when he sees Oikawa all independent and grown. Maybe Iwaizumi wanted Oikawa to rely on him a little bit more.</p>
<p>Maybe Iwaizumi just wanted to feel <em>needed</em> by Oikawa.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hanamaki Takahiro – also known as Makki by Oikawa– and Matsukawa Issei – also known as Mattsun also by Oikawa – quickly become part of Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s regular high school life. The four of them hang out together during lunch, practice volleyball together and often go home together – until a certain path, that is. Iwaizumi doesn’t mind the extra presence, and he finds himself becoming friends with Hanamaki and Matsukawa quite fast.</p>
<p>They all share much in common, but they will never have the same relationship Oikawa and Iwaizumi have with each other.</p>
<p>It’s selfish, Iwaizumi thinks, but he wants to be the only one who knows about Oikawa’s obsession with aliens. He wants to be the only one who knows that Oikawa is a crybaby and a hard worker. He wants Oikawa to be the only one who knows Iwaizumi’s obsession with Godzilla. He wants Oikawa to be the only one who knows Iwaizumi’s manner was just a façade, that he cares more than he actually shows.</p>
<p>Hanamaki and Matsukawa are definitely their friends. But Oikawa’s and Iwaizumi’s relationship will always be unique, only theirs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa says excitedly as they meet each other that morning, at the corner that their streets meet, and they walk together to school. Iwaizumi looks unimpressed at Oikawa’s tone, but he knows something is about to come with that eagerness, and for a second his heart skips a beat, even though his face betrays nothing. “I have a girlfriend! I wanted to tell you in person this morning! Can we pick her up, pretty please?”</p>
<p>Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow, and inside his head, it’s almost like he can hear his heart breaking. He huffs as an answer, knowing he couldn’t ever deny anything to Oikawa, and so his best friend beams. They walk side by side, Oikawa rambling about how nice and cute his girlfriend is, how he’s excited because he thinks they might hit off well, but Iwaizumi barely listens.</p>
<p>He wants to be happy for Oikawa. He wants to cheer on him, wants to congratulate him and wish him all the happiness. But the words feel stuck on his throat and he can’t bring himself to open his mouth. Quietly, Iwaizumi just allows Oikawa to ramble and hums whenever, to show he’s ‘listening’.</p>
<p>When they meet said girl, Oikawa beams and kisses her cheek, making her laugh. Iwaizumi doesn’t even bother to memorize her name, and nods when Oikawa introduces them. He watches as they start walking ahead and he stays a few steps behind to give them some privacy.</p>
<p><em>We’re equals. We walk side by side, always,</em> Oikawa had told him once.</p>
<p>Not always, he thinks now, bitterly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Matsukawa notices his sour mood the moment they meet during lunch. Oikawa, of course, had ditched them off, saying so on their group chat, to have lunch with his girlfriend, so neither Matsukawa, nor Hanamaki say a word when Iwaizumi arrives in such an awful mood.</p>
<p>They eat mostly quietly, Iwaizumi barely speaks, only when either of his friends ask him something directly, and he leaves as soon as he finished his food. Matsukawa watches him leave, deep in thought, when Hanamaki startles him with a laugh.</p>
<p>“He’s so whipped,” Hanamaki says and Matsukawa grins, understanding where his friend is going. “Oikawa is an idiot.”</p>
<p>“Aren’t they both idiots?” Matsukawa asks back and they both laugh, nodding.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s only a matter of time before Oikawa starts ditching Iwaizumi for his girlfriend. At first, walking home together after practice was a must, then Oikawa decides to go on a date with his girlfriend and Iwaizumi goes home alone. Suddenly, dates pop off everywhere and Iwaizumi is <em>always</em> alone.</p>
<p>They don’t go to school together, don’t have lunch together, don’t talk to each other unless it’s practice and they don’t go home together. Hanamaki and Matsukawa watch it carefully and quietly, like they’re waiting for the moment to intervene, but Iwaizumi refuses to let them do it.</p>
<p>It is what it is. The bitterness inside his mouth whenever he sees Oikawa with <em>her</em> is too much, and he often drinks water or chews on a gum expecting the taste to fade. It doesn’t, of course, and it just makes him angrier.</p>
<p>Then, one day, Oikawa suddenly breaks up with her.</p>
<p>“It got boring,” he explains during lunch, suddenly bringing his usual routine with Iwaizumi back. Going to school, talking during lunch, practice and going home, sometimes even staying over. “She was more interested on the fact that I am handsome and popular. We didn’t match either. She didn’t care for my volleyball passion, so I guess it was time to ditch her.”</p>
<p>Hanamaki and Matsukawa share a laugh at Oikawa’s antics and Iwaizumi stares at him with the most incredulous look he can muster. Oikawa shrugs, because in the end, he had never really liked her. He liked the idea of having a girlfriend, that’s all.</p>
<p>Iwaizumi spends the rest of his classes thinking if he confessed to Oikawa and he accepted, if there was a chance Oikawa would ditch him with the same half-assed excuses.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It becomes some sort of cycle.</p>
<p>Oikawa gets a girlfriend. They date for a few weeks and Oikawa breaks it off, saying they didn’t match, she was boring, she wanted more than Oikawa had to offer, she was only after his looks, she only wanted to be popular, or whatever excuse he had on the tip of his tongue. Either way, Oikawa soon became the biggest player of high school, and as they entered their second year, everybody knew Oikawa.</p>
<p>He became quite the talk.</p>
<p>Gaining such popularity, gave Oikawa a confidence boost that Iwaizumi had never imagined from him, especially knowing Oikawa for so long. Maybe it was always there, and Iwaizumi was too busy thinking Oikawa was his stars to even realize that the boy had potential to be popular and the talk of school.</p>
<p>Girls and girls start showing up to their games, mostly to see Oikawa play, now that they have earned their places as regulars. Matsukawa and Hanamaki stay by their sides, always fighting and training hard, and Iwaizumi becomes closer to them than he had expected.</p>
<p>He gets used to it.</p>
<p>The laughter during lunch, dropping mean comments to Oikawa only to pester him, training with Matsukawa and Hanamaki, going home with Oikawa and sometimes hanging out to watch either one of Oikawa’s aliens movies or Godzilla because of Iwaizumi.</p>
<p>He just allows himself to get used to it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whispers in the dark, lying in futon in Iwaizumi’s room. He knows Iwaizumi isn’t sleeping because of his breathing and moving. “Do you think we’ll be friends forever?”</p>
<p>Iwaizumi stops moving for a second. <em>That’s a dumb question, Shittykawa</em>, he wants to say. <em>Of course, Crappykawa, what the hell are you talking about!, </em>he wants to yell. His breath hitches and he wonders then, <em>will we?</em></p>
<p>“I guess we have to try, right?” Oikawa goes on, and for a split second Iwaizumi wishes he could see him in the dark room, what kind of expression he would be giving him. “I promise you I will try, Iwa-chan.”</p>
<p>Iwaizumi swallows dry, his throat itching and his eyes burning. “Of course, Shittykawa,” he replies quietly, a few beats later, but Oikawa’s breath has already evened out.</p>
<p>He barely sleeps that night.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mattsun, do you think we’ll be friends forever?” Oikawa asks during lunch almost a week later after his sleepover at Iwazumi’s. Everybody, besides Oikawa, chokes on their food for a second and Iwaizumi gives him a panicked look. Why is he bringing this up again?</p>
<p>“Dumb question, next please,” Hanamaki mumbles after he is able to swallow his food and Oikawa groans dramatically.</p>
<p>“Makki!”</p>
<p>“He’s right, Oikawa,” Matsukawa replies, watching him carefully. “That’s a dumb question. It’s up for us to try to keep in touch. If we want to, we will. Simple as that.”</p>
<p>Oikawa nods and then grins. Iwaizumi feels warm all over his body. “Then I guess we just have to try and see, huh!”</p>
<p>Iwaizumi takes a deep breath and smacks him on the side of his head, making Oikawa yelp and groan a rather distressed ‘Iwa-chan!’.</p>
<p>“What’s up with this stupidity, huh? You’re planning on disappearing anytime soon?”</p>
<p>Iwaizumi manages to keep his tone even and sounding kind of annoyed, but he feels concerned at once, because what if Oikawa is hitting at them that he’ll leave one day and never come back?</p>
<p>“I’m just wondering, Iwa-chan, no need to be so mean and hit me!”</p>
<p>Iwaizumi groans and ignores him, going back to his food. He doesn’t listen much of the rest of the conversation, thinking of Oikawa’s words inside his head. <em>Will we be friends forever?</em> sounds like a dumb question, but what if Oikawa is afraid of leaving and losing everyone dear to him?</p>
<p>No, Iwaizumi decides, Oikawa will never lose him.</p>
<p>He’ll make sure of that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They work hard to make sure they can get to play on the court longer, side by side. Hanamaki and Matsukawa are the friends that keep Iwaizumi grounded, whenever he loses focus of things and loses himself to his forbidden love. Even though he never mentioned anything to his friends, they once told him, <em>we know, Hajime</em>, and it had been enough. Maybe everyone knew. Maybe he was quite obvious about it. He didn’t know and didn’t care.</p>
<p>Oikawa is obsessed with volleyball. With the years passing by, besides Iwaizumi, volleyball is the only thing constant in his life – his obsession with aliens are also there, but that’s a secret between them. Oikawa works the hardest to achieve the chance to be called the best on the court, to be recognized as someone who wasn’t born with talent but learned how to <em>bloom </em>it through it all. How he had learned to analyze and be strategical, how he had polished his instinct, how he had become <em>the king of the court</em>.</p>
<p>Iwaizumi knows nothing will ever top volleyball in Oikawa’s life. He can’t compete with that.</p>
<p>He will, instead, help him achieve anything. He will make sure Oikawa has volleyball. He will make sure Oikawa chases his only love.</p>
<p>One that isn’t Iwaizumi himself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They try so hard. Nationals had always been their dream, something Iwaizumi and Oikawa had wanted to share together. Reach Nationals and prove they could do it. Fight the best among the country. Stand on the court last.</p>
<p>Oikawa had always been self-conscious of the fact he is not a natural talent, like Kageyama. He had to work hard, to train until his hands hurt, until his feet beg him to stop. He trained until his hands bled of open wounds, until cramping made him cry in pain. He fought tooth and nail to reach the level he needed to be considered a <em>good</em> player, because of his hard work.</p>
<p><em>Talent is something you bloom. Instinct is something you polish</em>.</p>
<p>Even though he worked hard and hard, over and over again, past through the hours, lost his mind over his little mistakes, it had never been enough. Shiratorizawa beat them. And now, Karasuno beat them.</p>
<p>It’s over. It was their last year of high school and their last chance of going to Nationals.</p>
<p>Afterwards, Iwaizumi can’t help himself, as they walk home one more time. Because everything they had been polishing for the past years, all their hard work, was done here. But he knows Oikawa will go on. He would never stop.</p>
<p>His love for volleyball is endless.</p>
<p>
  <em>You’ll live chasing volleyball your whole life without being perfectly content because you’re a real troublesome guy. </em>
</p>
<p>Iwaizumi keeps his head up, because right now, Oikawa needs him to be brave. Oikawa needs him to give him the talk that will make him pursue what he loves, which is volleyball. And not Iwaizumi. Never Iwaizumi.</p>
<p>
  <em>But keep moving forward without hesitation.</em>
</p>
<p>He wishes he could set himself free from this love, but the past years had made him cherish this love more than anything else. He will carry it on his heart, hidden from everyone, but proudly, because Oikawa deserves to be loved, cherished and wanted. He deserves it all.</p>
<p>
  <em>You’re my partner that I can be proud of and a really incredible setter.</em>
</p>
<p>It feels like a goodbye.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s a week before they officially graduate that Oikawa asks to spend the night at Iwaizumi’s house. He says yes immediately, and regrets it as soon as Oikawa comes over, because he knows the final moment is coming.</p>
<p>He’s running out of days.</p>
<p>“Iwa-chan,” he says when they’re finishing watching a Godzilla movie for the nth time. They’re sitting side by side on Iwaizumi’s bed, his laptop on half of each of their laps. “I’m going to play for this league. I’ve been scouted. I will say yes.”</p>
<p>Iwaizumi barely glances at him. “Congratulations, you earned it.”</p>
<p>Oikawa doesn’t listen to him. “It’s in Argentina.”</p>
<p>Iwaizumi stops breathing.</p>
<p>He looks over Oikawa, panicking, but Oikawa looks serene, still looking at the movie. He seems peaceful, knowing he’s going after his dream, chasing something he has always wanted. Iwaizumi heart drops, but he doesn’t allow himself to show it.</p>
<p>Instead, he smiles.</p>
<p>Oikawa finally looks at him, eyes wide, not expecting Iwaizumi to smile at him.</p>
<p>“I expected nothing less from the grand king himself. You deserve it, Tooru.”</p>
<p>Oikawa’s eyes water and he hugs Iwaizumi tight, almost dropping his laptop on the floor. Iwaizumi hugs him back and closes his eyes, cherishing this moment they have now. Because soon Oikawa will be gone, to another country, to live another life.</p>
<p>They don’t talk about it anymore until the last day of Oikawa in Japan comes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hanamaki, Matsukawa and Iwaizumi are all at the airport with Oikawa and his family, expecting to say their goodbyes. The three of them had pretend to be okay, but everyone was giving them pitying looks, meaning they probably looked devastated.</p>
<p>Matsukawa was the first to hug Oikawa goodbye.</p>
<p>“You better kick ass out there, asshole,” he mumbles, a few tears dropping by and Oikawa himself allows all the tears he had already dried from earlier to come back.</p>
<p>“Of course, Mattsun, we will keep in touch!”</p>
<p>Matsukawa nods and steps back, allowing Hanamaki to be the next.</p>
<p>Hanamaki starts crying before they even hug.</p>
<p>“Makki, who knew you would miss me this much!” Oikawa says smiling, though there are tears all over his face. Hanamaki sobs and slaps him on the back.</p>
<p>“Shut up, idiot. You better let us know how you’re doing.”</p>
<p>Then, it’s Iwaizumi’s turn. Suddenly, the air feels so thin, he feels hot and his clothes feel tight, he feels like he’s suffocating.</p>
<p>“Let’s give them some space,” someone from Oikawa’s family says, probably his mother, as she gives him a kiss on his temple one last time, before they all walk away. Oikawa stares at him.</p>
<p>“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa starts and Iwaizumi’s eyes water immediately.</p>
<p>“No,” Iwaizumi says back harshly, but Oikawa’s hugging him, and he sobs. He didn’t want to break down, he didn’t want Oikawa’s last memory of his face being him sobbing on his shoulder.</p>
<p>“Hajime,” Oikawa says softly, and Iwaizumi holds onto him tighter.</p>
<p>“You better do your best,” he says softly, voice tight of tears he doesn’t want to let go yet. “You better keep in touch. You better prove to all of them how amazing you are, Tooru. Or I’ll come kick your ass, I swear to God.”</p>
<p>Oikawa laughs softly and hugs him tighter. They stand there for a second only hugging, but Iwaizumi knows better than hold on.</p>
<p>So, he lets Oikawa go.</p>
<p>“I’ll be waiting for your messages, Shittykawa,” he says, a grin on his face, and Oikawa smiles back at him, just like the sun. Iwaizumi’s heart clenches, already missing the warmth of Oikawa around him.</p>
<p>“Of course, Iwa-chan,” he says, and just like that, he walks away.</p>
<p>Iwaizumi is sure he left his heart inside Oikawa’s bag.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Keeping in touch is not the same as being there. Time zones make it messy, so they barely talk, barely call. Matsukawa and Hanamaki helps him through his worse times, and he manages to keep moving on no matter what.</p>
<p>Anytime he sees or hears about Oikawa on TV, he feels that sense of proudness. He feels his chest swelling with love, and with a feeling he had learned to be a constant in his heart now. When Oikawa had been in Brazil and met Hinata, Oikawa told him Hinata taught him a Portuguese word that didn’t have a literal translation.</p>
<p>This word meant the feeling of missing something or someone, maybe a routine, maybe a place, maybe a person, but it’s nostalgic, good and bad at the same time. It’s the warm of remembering your old home, the bitterness of remembering your old love and the quickening of your heartbeat when remembering a specific moment that marked you somehow.</p>
<p><em>Saudade</em>.</p>
<p>Iwaizumi grows fond of this word. It’s everything he feels for Oikawa now, besides his one-sided and unrequired love for him. Saudade is what he feels for Oikawa the most.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please don't yell at me &gt;:(<br/>I didn't want to give any of them jobs or whatever because I don't wanna hope aaaaa IWAIZUMI MATTSUN MAKKI PLEASE COME HOME<br/>yahaba too even though he wasn't mentioned help<br/>anyways, kudos and comments are always appreciated!</p>
<p>Also, about the word saudade: it really doesn't translate. It's not missing. It's so hard to explain what's saudade omg, but it's what I basically said about it. It's a good, bad and nostalgic feeling. It's a lot at once. Anyways. I could go on here for hours about this word, it's my favorite portuguese word hahah (my native language is portuguese btw)</p>
<p>(you can yell at me on twitter, i swear i'm nice and weird &lt;3 @owlhashira)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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